"How was your day?"
Well, let me walk you through mine -- hall-by-hall, class-by-class. As I entered my room this morning, I was greeted by two blue sticky notes posted on my keyboard. The notes from a student read, “I passed my math test!” and “Thank you, Jesus!”
What better greeting can you get than one like that?
Just seeing the notes, I could hear the excitement of a proud girl who has something to prove to not only me, but to herself, which is most important. Her name wasn’t written on them, but I could hear her voice in them and knew exactly who had left them.
As I walked down the hallway, headed for my one-cup-every-now-and-then cup of coffee (no sugar, lots of cream), the echoing voices of kids can be heard calling my name so I can acknowledge them. I’m an acknowledger, one who has made the kids believe that they are, “somebody,” so I’m constantly saying 'hello' throughout the school day, and to some, I just say, “hey.” They don’t know I look forward to their hello's as much as they look forward to mine.
No other feeling comes close to the one I get from students who admire me. My day was made.
My usual routine starts to unfold throughout the day. No two days are alike -- just the routine. I plan my attack on the small stack of papers locked securely in the file cabinet, because it’s now time to conquer the paperwork.
Halfway through the school day, comes the 21st century reality of a student in crisis. As you know, today’s kids face different challenges than yesterday’s kids. I’m up to the challenges, ready to face them and build on students' skills to help them face them, too.
This particular crisis found its way to my room involving a very sweet girl. She hesitantly told me about a problem she was having with another boy. I thought she was going to tell me her and her best friend were not speaking again – girl issues. But, the expression on her face proved my thought to be wrong.
She told me she was having issues with a boy who she described as bullying her and her best friend. She said he would call them names and tease them. In her exact words, he was calling them “inappropriate names that boys sometimes call girls.” The sound of her voice sped up as she told me how they started walking home with a group of kids in hopes that he would just leave them alone. She said it got so bad that her friend's father drove up one day and told the boy to leave his daughter alone (a no-no, of course). According to her, he doesn’t bother her friend anymore, but she continues to suffer.
By now, she begins to blame herself by questioning aloud, “Why does he do this to me? What have I done to make him call me names?”
I set aside all of my paperwork to listen to her. Because I wanted her to be able to confide in me, I told her I would have to tell an administrator as opposed to labeling the conversation as “confidential.” I wanted her to be safe, to feel safe. Soon, the expression on her face became that of relief. She was looking for a way out from the pain.
Because of the interventions that are in place at school to address bullying, she found that way out. And, as for the bully, well, let’s just say we don’t tolerate bullying. Procedures were followed and consequences applied.
If you’re wondering what school this occurred at, just consider it as Any School, Any Town, USA. Bullying can occur at any school and can be stopped at any school. It’s up to us: parents, schools and the community. After all, it really does take an entire village to raise a child.
As for the rest of my day, meetings, hall duty and one more meeting. My plans for tomorrow will include starting my day by checking on her and the boy who has been bullying her as well.
School district information on bullying:
McKinney ISD parent meeting on bullying -- March 4, 2013 at 7:00 p.m. at Minshew Elementary Cafetorium.
Online parenting classes on bullying in Plano ISD -- click here for more information.
Sharon Kind is a licensed school counselor and freelance writer. A product of a military family, she is a mom of one daughter and resides in McKinney, Texas. Sharon Kind can be reached at schoolcounselormom@yahoo.com.